September 14, 2014

jump into the fog



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The denim jacket you wear rhymes with your ocean eyes. They are large like two full moons blinking at me in unison, in awe. Your firm hug melts my torso into soft wood. Breathing, warm, and wise.

We sit side by side in this dusty tube carriage. Elbows colliding, knees meeting in jerks of the rail. The soft light hay that sits on your head brushes my cheek as you settle on my bony shoulder. My body pulses forward and backward as lights flicker shut. The barking metal beneath us loops its verse as we travel on into a destination of darkness.


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In two weeks I'll be gone. Out of here. Possibly for a very long time.
I have been giving England so much thought lately. My new home.
My thoughts keep returning to the week we spent in London this past July with my boyfriend. I compiled these photos moments sort of to remind myself what it might be like there. Even though I have visited more times than I have fingers or toes for, permanently moving is a whole other story.

My boyfriend moved to Scotland for university two days a go and the reality of being in a long distance relationship is yet to dawn on me. Helsinki feels a little empty with so many of my loved ones already on the little green island.
The more absent I feel in this city, the more I am drawn to thoughts of London and the wonderful things I have experienced there. I flipped through a cursive filled Moleskine and came across the short moment in writing of us in the tube, going somewhere.

Right in this moment I feel so out of place.  Here I am, waiting to leave, waiting to say goodbye to all that I have known for the past decade and jump into the fog.

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